Saturday, January 14, 2012

Saturday Centus ~ The Climb, part 2

Last week, Jenny challenged us to write a cliffhanger using the prompt "Hanging off a cliff" and using only 104 words.  This week we are to finish our story, but with a measly 50 words ... talk about a tough challenge.  My first draft was 132 words, and it took me forever to edit it down to 50 ... but here it is, finished!  I hope you enjoy!  Part 1 is repeated, below is part 2.

Part 1

Hanging off a cliff  “keep moving” he thought, “don’t lose momentum,” as he dangled by two arms from the top of the cliff, a bead of sweat trickled into his eye, stinging.  A second passed in an hour, his arms began to shake.  “Focus!” he yelled at himself, knowing full well that his arms could only support his dead weight for a few more moments … he had underestimated the climb … a tragic mistake for any free style climber …he shifted his weight on to his right arm as his left hand searched for something other than sand and soil to grab onto.

Part 2

Panicking now, his left hand sweeping blindly, he finds a root to grasp onto. Summoning his remaining strength he pulls his body up only to hear a loud snap.  He lets out a yelp as he falls. “Jon, you’re having that dream again,” she says sleepily as she pokes him.

I actually wanted to make this about a man have repeated nightmares over the impending birth of a first child ... but the shorter version leaves it to your imagination.

Thanks so much for stopping by, if you want to join us or read other entertaining entries, just click on the Jenny button below!

Jenny Matlock


Susan Anderson said...

Well done, Jo. I found the 50 word limit a bit confining, too.


Judie said...

WHEW! It was only a dream!! Good one, Jo!!

anitamombanita said...

Nicely done....we can all dream, but we all dream different things.

Izzy said...

well done! love the dream factor.

Ames said...

Good thing this was a dream. I was sweating along with him!

I already had my second part done last week. When Jenny threw in the 50 word limit I spent more time trying to crunch the words than I did actually writting the story! She's a tricky stinker!~Ames

Daydreamertoo said...

Oh, I like this anyway. Reminds me of a clip I saw at Youtube recently of a guy climbing rocks freestyle with how 'tool's at all to help him apart from wearing a pair of sneakers.
Very nice read. :)

Lynn Stevens said...

oh my gosh... it was only a dream, Thank goodness. my eyes widened when I heard the "snap"
Your so talented GF!
Hugs Lynn

Sue C said...

Whew! It was the "snap" that really took my breath away. Thanks once again for sharing your amazing talent with everyone!

Jenny said...

Jo! Wow. Great ending.

Stay tuned for my official apology and redemption for the word count error.

Although, honestly, you rocked this with only 50 words!

I love your writing. I would totally read your books. Publish something, would you please?

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