Sunday, January 30, 2011

Saturday Centus - The Ribbon

You know the drill … tell a story in 100 words or less using the prompt …This week prompt is "She lifted the stack of letters from the ancient chest" and it was written by the incredibly talented Judi of Rogue Artists Speak. 

I have cheated a bit …. My main character is male … so I have changed the “she” to “he” … hey, someone has to cheat … it kinda keeps things interesting don’t cha think?  And it totally unlevels the playing field and I need any advantage I can get   … tee he he


Light streamed in from the window, outside frost laden branches glisten and shone … an eagle circled high above in the brilliant blue sky.  The beauty of it all was so sharp and immense that he almost forgot why he left these mountains so many years ago. Turning to the task that lay before him he lifted the stack of letters from the ancient chest, his hands trembled as he fumbled with the faded and tattered bit of pink ribbon that bound them together.

Now scamper on over to Jenny Matlocks to read so many wonderful and entertaining short short stories!

Jenny Matlock

19 comments:

Judie said...

The first thing that came to mind when I read your offering was when Jeremiah Johnson went back to his cabin after his wife was killed. I was talking with someone today at lunch about the beauty of Utah, where the movie was shot. I'm glad that you made that she/he change. I really should have left out the "she."
I put more of the story on line this afternoon.

Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com said...

I also like your pronoun change. It works very well, and the pink ribbon stands out even more.
Nice, unique take on the prompt.
xoRobyn

Kat said...

Lovely take on the prompt. Do the letters contain clues as to why he left? Nice and intriguing, you could definitely expand this one! Kat

Poetic Justice said...

I'm with Kat, intriguing indeed. Very nice :-) And hello to a fellow Canadian!
~Michelle

Izzy said...

Great little story, I don't think changing she to he is cheating... it's creative license!! LOL

Sue said...

I'm cool with the she to he change as well.

And I'm intrigued by your story...

=)

faith said...

Does leave one wondering . . . Nice take! :)

Pat @ Mille Fiori Favoriti said...

Well done Jo! I admire all of you that follow the Centus event every week!

elysabeth said...

that changes everything - lol - I mean was he a she before he left; why did he come back? You gotta give us more- we just have to know what all happened - E :)

--------------------
Elysabeth Eldering
Author of the Junior Geography Detective Squad, 50-state, mystery, trivia series

Where will the adventure take you next?

http://jgdsseries.blogspot.com
http://jgdsseries.weebly.com

Karen S. said...

Great take on this prompt, and of course she has to be a he...it works for me!

jacque4u2c said...

I love your twist on this!

Lynn Stevens said...

Oh so whats in those letters? I gotta know! LOL

Viki said...

Even though your a rule breaker I loved it LOL. Great change with the prompt. Makes me want to know exactly who the letters were from.

cj Schlottman said...

Why DID he leave? Great take on the prompt and it's fine writing also.

Thanks..........cj

Lois aka katesmum said...

I love this!

gaelikaa said...

I love it when someone's brave enough to be original.

well done.

Jenny said...

I am totally cool with the fact that the 's' on your keyboard was temporarily disabled.

I don't think you need an advantage. You write these stories so well.

Wonderful visualization... you took me there with him.

I wonder if he's going to be available now. I have a few girlfriends in need of a beau.

Wonderful link!

Nonna Beach said...

Very well done story !

Anna said...

Well done! But I wish I could read more. It feels like the beginning of something!
Best wishes,
Anna
P.S.
I'm sorry that I am commenting so late. I am going back to older posts that I have missed.
Here is my SC-text:
'Infrequent visitor' SC week 39