Saturday, March 19, 2011

Saturday Centus ~ The Window

You all know the drill ... Jenny gives us the prompt ... we write a story of 100 words or less ... This week I'm just slightly over the 100 ... but just by a 75 little words ... and that was after some serious editing ... oh, and the changed the "the" to an "a" ... This weeks prompt is "the curtain parted".  Here's my contribution ...

She was walking … as she always did after her ritual morning meal of toast and tea, walking on a route she had carefully chosen some twenty odd years ago.  As she approached the T intersection, she looked up at the row of houses that lied ahead… it was in that moment that her view changed.  It was as if a curtain parted.  She was in a vaguely familiar room … the window dirty, yet the light sharply shone through and illuminated dust particles dancing in the stale air … an overwintering geranium struggled for life on the windowsill.  Her feet compelled her to keep walking while other regions of her brain sent out waves of panic through the rest of her body.  She realized at once that she had no idea where she was … “just keep walking” she muttered.  In five terrifying steps it was over …she was at the intersection, shaking… wondering if this was how it started …  if the threat of a memory robbing disease was lying await within her.

Now, if you fancy some amazing little stories of 100 words or less (i promise i am the only one cheating) just click on Jenny's button below.

Jenny Matlock

18 comments:

Judie said...

One of my golfing buddies has recently been diagnosed with the dreaded "A"! She becomes easily confused on the coursed. It is soooo sad to me. Great post, Jo!!

June Freaking Cleaver said...

Since my mom has Alzheimer's, I sometimes think that everyday forgetfulness is just the first step on her path.

Scary, that.

Just like your story!

Jackie said...

Scary thought!!

Nonna Beach said...

Very well written and at the same time, frightening and devastating !

gautami tripathy said...

It is so scary.....

stretched drums

Anna said...

Excellent centus! You have chosen a very scary subject and written your text from the point of view of the patient who is diagnosed or soon to be diagnosed with this condition. It must be horrible to know that your memory is going and that your understanding of the world will soon disappear.
Otherwise, this condition is often described from the view point of the people around the patient, his or her spouse or children.
Congratulations for your courage. This is a scarier story that any murder mystery.
Well done!
Best wishes,
Anna
Anna's SC week 46 'curtain parted'

Anna said...

Oops! Left the wrong link! Try this one instead!
Anna's SC week 46 'curtain parted'

Best wishes,
Anna

Izzy said...

great story !

Kat said...

This was really well written, and I especially like the point of view. Frightening story, and a great use of the prompt. Kat

Sue said...

This was a good story, because I found myself caring...hoping as a reader that she was actually slipping into some kind of alternate universe and this was going to be some kind of fantasy story.

I felt like I was already reading the book!

=)

Tracy said...

Great use everyones nightmare

gaelikaa said...

A great read! Loved it!

cj Schlottman said...

It is amazing how many ways this prompt has gone. You took it in a sad direction, reminding all of us that dementia affects so many lives. Thanks.


Namaste..........cj

Sue C said...

Girl, you have major TALENT !!!

Lynn Stevens said...

Hubbums came in while I was reading your story, so I read it to him, he said "Thats pretty wicked" followed by an evil laugh.
Such a frightful thought, one I hope I never experience...
Your so good at this. I'll be the first in line to buy your book!

Hugs Lynn

Ames said...

I used to work with someone that this very thing would happen to him and he ended up with a Glioblastoma.

Also had a neighbor that just forgot how to drive home to her house. The police found her sitting in her car on a wildlife preserve.

Life can change in a moment.~Ames

Lisa H. said...

There are so few things written from the perspective of the one who knows something is wrong, knows it will get worse, and fears there is nothing that can be done to prevent it.

Thank you. I think you should finish this as a short story or novel. I would buy it.

Jenny said...

How can you even think about word count when you were crafting such a poignant and powerful little gem of a story.

Such a frightening disease. I felt my heart sadden when I realized the direction this was heading.

Beautiful writing.

Thank you for sharing it.